The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate Review

In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:

- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.
- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.
- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.
- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.
- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."
- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.

Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.

Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

Title:The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

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    Some Testimonial About This Book:

  • Lori

    Some difficult interactions with a few individuals have been wearing me down. My therapist recommended The Dance of Anger, but after reviewing Lerner's titles we decided this one would be more appropr...

  • Allison

    3.5I liked this "Dance..." better than "The Dance of Fear." This one seemed more application-based, as the author provided a lot of examples of how people communicated, connected, and just plain showe...

  • Brittany Wilmes

    Harriet Lerner's book (the first of hers I've read) goes beyond the typical psych-pop fluff, which tends to draw heavily on far-reaching and inconclusive research to prove an aggressive agenda (e.g., ...

  • Meow Says The Cat

    Another insightful book from Harriet Lerner (I think I’m becoming a fan!) Dance of Intimacy, another book by her and the first of hers I read, focuses on relationship patterns and how they’re esse...

  • Valerie Campbell Ackroyd

    Good read as alwaysI have enjoyed, and learned from, reading Lerner’s “Dance of....” books for over 20 years. She always posits interesting things to think of in terms of interpersonal communica...

  • Merve D. N.

    "Bütün" olmaya giden yollarla ilgili temel meseleler mizahla ve ayni zamanda bu kadar dogrudan nasil ifade edilirdi bilmiyorum. Kitabin dilini Brene Brownun kitaplariyla cok benzer buldum. Hem mizah...

  • Anne

    My rating of 3 is based on the fact that I have read most of Lerner’s books and found significant repeats in the material in this book. I enjoy her work but was upset by the repetition of stories. ...

  • Lindsay

    I picked up this book at Barnes & Noble because I needed something to help me work through some bad patterns of mine. I'd intended to get a CBT workbook, but this book ended up speaking to me in ways ...

  • Nicole

    I'm not usually a reader of self-help books, but I make an exception for Harriet Lerner. Not only is she a gifted writer and story-teller, but unlike I imagine most of the genre, she most adamantly al...

  • Nick

    I've read a lot of books on psychology, pop, academic, and somewhere in between. Most of them offer a few insights that have been useful to me along the way. "Difficult Conversations" comes to mind --...